Amae by Takeo doi Istilah Amae muncul dalam dunia psikologi Jepang setelah dipopulerkan oleh Dr. Takeo Doi, seorang pakar psikolog Jepang ternama. However, in his book The Anatomy of Dependence, first published in 1971, Doi states that amae is not just a Japanese phenomenon, but the Japanese are the only people who have an extensive vocabulary for describing it. The reason for this is that amae is a major factor in Japanese interaction and customs.
Amae by Takeo Doi Doi explains that amae is the noun form of amaeru, an intransitive verb which he defines as "to depend and presume upon another's benevolence." It indicates, for Doi, "helplessness and the desire to be loved.“ Amaeru can also be defined as "to wish to be loved," and denotes "dependency needs."
Amae’s definition Various bilingual dictionaries define amae as : "to lean on a person's good will," "to act lovingly towards (as a much fondled child towards its parents)," "to take advantage of," "to behave like a spoiled child,"
Amae’s definition Various bilingual dictionaries define amae as : "to trespass on," "to behave in a caressing manner towards a man," "to speak in a coquettish tone," "to encroach on (one's kindness, good nature, etc.),"
Amae is… …in essence, a request for indulgence of one's perceived needs.
Amae is… …people’s behavior when you desire to be loved, you desire someone to take care of you, when you want unconsciously to be depending on another person (your parents, your wife/husband or even your boss) with a certain meaning of submission.
Amae adalah… …keengganan anak-anak untuk dipisahkan dari kehangatan kasih sayang sang ibu, dimana dapat terjadi juga pada orang dewasa, yang mengharapkan orang lain berbuat yang sama seperti yang dialaminya sewaktu kecil.
Amae’s description There is amae everywhere in the world, but it is interesting that in the Japanese language there is a concrete word to describe it, there is even a verb amaeru that means “depend on the benevolence of others”.
Amae’s description It happens that in Japan the amae phenomenon is very exaggerated and you find 40 years old women who act like a 15 years old girl.
Amae’s description Japanese men like girls with childish faces, they expect childish behavior from women, they like them submissive; they usually prefer this prototype, known as “kawai”, than an elegant, beautiful woman with a strong character.
Amae’s description In Japan, men/boyfriends/husbands like to be the protectors of their women, it seems they don’t like to feel that the women is the one with the control over them.
Amae’s description An example of amae coming from men would be when the husband arrives home drunk and the woman instead of scolding him, she just helps him to undress and go to bed. This is pretty normal in Japanese dramas.
Kesimpulan Amae plays a fundamental roll in a collectivist society where individualism is not well seen and people likes the group to have the power.
Kesimpulan Amae helps in the process of creating harmonius interconnections inside the family, in the companies and between friends. Japanese do not usually confront each other, it is very difficult to see Japanese people arguing.
Kesimpulan Amae is one of the tools to keep the harmony, the peace, the “ wa” in the Japanese society.