E NGLISH J OURNALISM (D ASAR - DASAR P ENULISAN B ERITA B ERBAHASA I NGGRIS ) Penulisan Berita Media Cetak (Session 15) Ambang Priyonggo, M.A.

I S IT DIFFICULT TO WRITE A NEWS STORY IN E NGLISH ? Writing news stories isn't particularly difficult. It does take practice and not everyone will be an expert but if you follow the guidelines below you should be able to create effective news items without too much stress.

T HE UNIVERSAL F ORMULA OF N EWS V ALUES AND L EAD (5 W + 1 H ) You surely have already known about news values as well as the elements of intro/lead (5W + 1 H) Well, in writing news in English, those formulas are STILL essential...

I NTRO ; N EWS IN E NGLISH In Bahasa Indonesia, you likely see that the intro/lead is written even more than 30 words and is derived of two or three sentences... In English, the most common type of intro, and the one that is easiest to read, is a single sentence, with at the most one subordinate clause or phrase. If you gather your information, and construct such a sentence, taking care to answer the question What happened?, you are likely to end up with a sentence of between 20 and 30 words. Intros in tabloid newspapers are usually at the shorter end of this range, perhaps about 18–20 word

I NTRO ; N EWS IN E NGLISH A sentence of about 20–25 words can be read out loud easily in one breath. This is a good test. If you can read your intro in one breath, your reader can probably absorb it very easily in one reading. Most news editors would say that an intro which has to be read twice is a failure. So if your intro is more than say 28 words, try to work out which bits you can shorten or throw away.

I NTRO ; N EWS IN E NGLISH Can you say ‘the government’ instead of ‘the Department of the Environment’? Will Birmingham do at first reference, rather than a suburb of Birmingham? Can you shorten the verb eg. use ‘criticized’ rather than ‘has criticized’?

NO Residents are furious over the council’s decision to go ahead with the expulsion of their association from... On the other hand, if you have fewer than about 18 words you might not have told your readers enough to make them want to read on: A person was slightly hurt in a car crash in Newcastle yesterday. YES Residents are furious because the council decided to expel … A young mother had a lucky escape when a lorry jack-knifed in front of her car … This is just not interesting enough. It lacks detail, and the more detail youcan squeeze in, without making the sentence too hard to follow, the better.

Another good way to check whether your intro is sharp enough, and easy enough to grasp, is to check how many different ideas you have in it. In general a good intro will have at the most three main ide as. If you have four or more, it might be too complicated for your readers to grasp in one quick read. Here is a good example from Retail Week, the B2B magazine for the retail industry: Tesco plans to enter the £12.5 billion furniture market in the New Year, in a pitch that could hurt specialists such as MFI. This is an excellent intro – 23 words, straight and to the point. It starts with a big Who, one of the biggest players in the area covered by this magazine.There is interesting detail such as the figure, and the second verb, ‘hurt’, is active and arresting. Count the ideas: Tesco, the furniture market, and the possible effect on MFI.

I NTRO C HECK L IST 1 Always count the words: aim for between 20 and 25, preferably in one flowing sentence. 2 Make sure it tells us the most important thing in the story. 3 If you had only these 25 words for the whole story – make sure your reader has been told something interesting. 4 Don’t start with a subsidiary clause: go for the action point first, in case the train leaves before you can finish the sentence. 5 Count the number of main ideas and aim for three, or two if the story is very dramatic. Four or more different ideas make the intro indigestible. 6 The first 10 words are the most important – make sure they grab your reader. 7 Mention a person by name only if your average reader knows who s/he is. 8 Don’t emphasize the negative: tell us something that did happen, notsomething that didn’t. 9 Don’t begin with time or place: the Who and the What Happened are far more important than the Where and When. 10 Don’t begin a news story with a direct quote. You rarely see this in news stories, although it can work for a feature. If the actual news point is something someone said, it will be far easier to grasp in reported speech. 11 Use active rather than passive verbs: not ‘A shop was burgled last night …’ but ‘Burglars smashed into a shop …’ 12 Remember listen-to-me words: ‘not’ Bloxwich Council is reviewing its policy on providing affordable housing for asylum seekers following …’ but ‘Homeless asylum seekers will get priority …’(‘homeless’ and ‘asylum seekers’ are both more attention-grabbing phrases than ‘Bloxwich Council’ and ‘reviewing’).

I NTRO / LEAD IN I NDONESIA AND E NGLISH Paus Maafkan Perempuan Penyerang Pemimpin Gereja Katolik Roma (Vatikan), Paus Benediktus XVI, memberi maaf kepada seorang perempuan yang menjatuhkan dirinya saat misa malam Natal, 24 Desember Perempuan bernama Susanna Maiolo itu sebelumnya telah minta maaf atas perbuatannya yang memalukan. Source: (14 Januari 2010)

I NTRO / LEAD IN I NDONESIA AND E NGLISH Pope Forgives Christmas Trespasser ROME, Italy (CNN) -- Pope Benedict XVI met privately on Wednesday with the woman who dragged him to the ground on Christmas Eve, the Vatican said. Source: cnn (14 Januari 2010)

Pope Benedict XVI met privately on Wednesday with the woman who dragged him to the ground on Christmas Eve, the Vatican said. The pope offered forgiveness to Susanna Maiolo, 25, who jumped a barrier and dragged down the 82-year-old pontiff last month. Maiolo told the pope she was sorry about what had happened, according to a statement from the Vatican. She was detained by Vatican police and then taken to a mental institution, Vatican spokesman Father Federico Lombardi said at the time. The pope was quickly helped to his feet by his aides -- prompting cheers from the crowd -- and the service resumed, Lombardi said. Maiolo is the same woman who tried to get to the pontiff on Christmas Eve 2008, Lombardi said. John Allen, senior Vatican analyst for CNN, said such security breaches aren't uncommon. "As compared to say, the president of the United States, the security membrane around the pope is pretty thin and fairly permeable," he said, citing similar past incidents, including Maiolo's previous attempt. Allen said that, generally, these disruptions are caused by people who aren't seeking real harm, but who want to be close to the pope. Pemimpin Gereja Katolik Roma (Vatikan), Paus Benediktus XVI, memberi maaf kepada seorang perempuan yang menjatuhkan dirinya saat misa malam Natal, 24 Desember Perempuan bernama Susanna Maiolo itu sebelumnya telah minta maaf atas perbuatannya yang memalukan. Seorang pejabat Vatikan, seperti dikutip laman stasiun televisi CNN, mengungkapkan bahwa Paus dan Maiolo telah bertemu empat mata, Rabu 13 Januari Dalam pertemuan itu, Paus memaafkan Maiolo, yang berhasil menembus barikade keamanan sebelum mencekal Paus hingga terjatuh. Juru bicara Vatikan, Federico Lombardi, mengungkapkan bahwa gara-gara insiden itu Maiolo ditahan oleh kepolisian Vatikan dan dibawa ke institusi kejiwaan. Insiden yang dilakukan perempuan berusia 25 tahun itu tidak sampai mengganggu jalannya ibadah. Paus segera bangkit dan, sambil mendapat tepuk dari para umat, rohaniwan berusia 82 tahun itu tetap berjalan menuju altar untuk memimpin misa. Menurut penyelidikan, bukan kali itu saja, Maiolo mendekati Paus. Pada malam Natal 2008, dia juga berupaya melakukan tindakan serupa, namun gagal. John Allen, analis senior Vatikan untuk CNN, mengatakan bahwa pelanggaran keamanan semacam itu tidak biasa terjadi. "Dibandingkan presiden Amerika Serikat, lapis pengamanan di sekitar Paus sangat tipis dan mudah ditembus," kata Allen. Dia mengatakan, secara umum, kejadian seperti ini disebabkan bukan oleh orang yang berniat membahayakan Paus. "Mereka hanya ingin lebih dekat dengan Paus," tambah Allen.

Tenses used in writing news in English is past tense.... However, the title (headlines) is written in present tense... The articles: “the, is, an” can be omitted in writing the title.. Every statement written should address to the one who said it... *this is to prove that the statement is NOT the opinion of the journalist who writes the story.... Pope Forgives Christmas Trespasser ROME, Italy (CNN)-- Pope Benedict XVI met privately on Wednesday with the woman who dragged him to the ground on Christmas Eve, the Vatican said. The pope offered forgiveness to Susanna Maiolo, 25, who jumped a barrier and dragged down the 82-year-old pontiff last month. Maiolo told the pope she was sorry about what had happened, according to a statement from the Vatican. She was detained by Vatican police and then taken to a mental institution, Vatican spokesman Father Federico Lombardi said at the time. The pope was quickly helped to his feet by his aides -- prompting cheers from the crowd -- and the service resumed, Lombardi said. Maiolo is the same woman who tried to get to the pontiff on Christmas Eve 2008, Lombardi said. John Allen, senior Vatican analyst for CNN, said such security breaches aren't uncommon. "As compared to say, the president of the United States, the security membrane around the pope is pretty thin and fairly permeable," he said, citing similar past incidents, including Maiolo's previous attempt. Allen said that, generally, these disruptions are caused by people who aren't seeking real harm, but who want to be close to the pope.

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