Positive Parenting Merawat Jiwa Anak Dr Jalaluddin Rachmat

Bi-directional Effects  Refers to the reciprocal effects of the child on the parent and the parent on the child.  Must remember that every child is different – temperament, stress tolerance, capacity to learn, interests

Parenting Styles (Baumrind) 1. Otoriter 2. Permisif 3. Menolak 4. Otoritatif

high control low control high lovelow love Authoritative Authoritarian Permissive Rejecting

Otoriter  Menetapkan aturan dan ekspektasi yang ketat dan melaksanakannya secara ketat pula  Menuntut dan mengharapkan ketaatan.  Kontrol ortu sangat penting.

Otoriter  Low love  High rules  Anak-anak –Perasa (temperamental), tak bahagia, seringkali tak bersahabat –rentan stres

Permisif  Mendahulukan kesukaan anak- anak (AAS – asal anak senang)  Jarak memaksa anak untuk mematuhi peraturan  Kebebasan berpendapat dan otonomi dihargai

Permisif  High love  Low rules  Anak-anak –impulsif-aggresif –Pember (ontak –Berusaha menguasai (domineering) and berprestasi rendah (low achievers)

Menolak  Tidak memperhatikan kebutuhan anak  Jarang punya ekspektasi bagaimana seharusnya anak berperilaku

Menolak  Low love  Low rules  Anak-anak –Punya masalah psikologis –Lambat dewasa

Otoritatif  Gaya demokratis  Menetapkan aturan yang jelas dan membicarakan dengan anak-anak. Kontrol dilakukan dalam hubungannya dengan dukungan (support).  Memperhatikan perasaan dan kemampuan anak.  Mengakui perspektif anak tetapi menjalankan standar ortu.  Mendorong perkembangan otonomi anak sampai batas-batas yang wajar.  Bersandar terutama sekali pada peneguhan positif

Otoritatif  High love  High rules  Anak-anak –Sangat percaya diri and ceria –Sanggup mengatasi stres –achievement oriented (berorientasi pada prestasi)

Tak Peduli (Cuek)  Tidak peduli pada apa pun Yang dilakukan anak dan membiarkan mereka berbuat apa pun selama tidak mengganggu kegiatan ortu

Main things a child needs  love  rules/boundaries/someone to tell them no  clear expectations  consistence in discipline

Influencing children’s behavior: 1. Respect  Mutual respect between children and parents must be fostered for growth and change to occur.  Balance of kindness and firmness.  Modeling is important.

2. Consistency & Clarity  Children become confused without consistency.  A united front in the parental system  Must follow through with consequences (promises and threats)  Clarity – a child needs to know the rules and the consequences for breaking them

3. Logical Consequences  Try to devise consequences that are appropriate to the child’s misbehavior  Logical consequences vs. punishment 3 “R’s” 1. Related to the problem behavior 2. Respectful – no humiliation 3. Reasonable – designed to teach, not to induce suffering.

4. No Physical Punishment  Negative long-term effects (anger, resentment, fear)  Behavior modification works effectively without the risk of long term consequences.

5. Behavior Modification Reinforcement/Punishment Reinforcer – increase the likelihood that the behavior will occur again. positive – something implemented negative – something aversive removed Punishment – decrease the likelihood that the behavior will occur again. positive – something aversive implemented negative – something desirous removed

Timeouts - one minute for each year of child. - may be a positive or negative punishment.

Provide Praise Children depend on their parents for the development of their self- concept. Catch the child doing good and reinforce it.